Germany - Algeria

Yet again we are watching another match.  It was supposed to be a simple match, but the Algerians aren't giving Germany an easy ride.  As usual Muller has been working his socks off, but he just can't seem to steer the ball goal-wards.  

I predict we will be going into extra time. Well the game went into extra time, the final score was Germany 2 - Algeria 1

To The Manor Born

Great Weekend

It was lovely to spend some quality one with the G.O this weekend, especially as we were able to leave the house.  

We have recently joined Costco. I know we are very late to the game, but that place is awesome.  Everytime we go I am amazed at the range and sheer volume available.  They were selling full size swimming pools, enormous flat screen TVs, a sofa in a box and a canoe! 

It never ceases to amaze me, just what is on offer. I have feeling that this could be the best/worst thing we've ever done.  I have to confess I have become slightly addicted to their pretzels and love nothing more than curling up on the sofa munching away.

On Sunday we decided to make the most of the glorious weather and our National Trust membership and visit Hughenden Manor, just outside West Wycombe.

Hughenden Manor was the home to the charismatic and colourful Victorian Prime Minister, Benjamin Disraeli, who lived there from 1848 to 1881.

We were able to tour the house on our own and browse among an extraordinary collection of personal memorabilia.  I find it amazing that we are allowed into these huge and wonderful houses and garden and are able to explore as we choose.  Sometimes the houses feel warm and inviting and other times, especially when they are "dressed" for the occasion, they feel creepy. Particularly the cellars (I don't like cellars).
While we were there we learned about  Hughenden's secret wartime past (map making) in the Second World War room in the cellars.

 Like I said the cellars are creepy, I wandered around half expecting to see, feel, or hear something otherworldly.  I watch way too much Most Haunted.

After our tour of the house, we took a stroll around the amazing gardens and woodlands.

Then we found a nice, sucluded spot and had a picnic.  It was one of those idyllic moments you hope to have.

I was once told by a very good friend, Mrs F, that to make the most of your NT membership you need to visit at least 6 venues, as of Saturday our July 2013-July 2014 count is 6, I think we've made our annual quota.

1.  Waddeson Manor

2.  Stowe

3.  Waddeson Manor

4.  Buscot Park

5.  Basildon Park

6.  Hughenden Manor  

I get it! She's a vegetarian

It was lovely to get back to school today. I spent a lot of time talking to parents about my decision to move on. Most wanted me to teach younger siblings, but as I have said many times before.  

As much as I love working with children I need to give myself the chance to have my own family.

It was great to see the Pandas again, they do crack me up with some of the things they come out with.

While talking about the World Cup "Mrs M will be watching, she supports  England!"

To which I responded with "No!  I'm not English!"

"I get it!  She's not English, she's a vegetarian."  Classic Panda.

Das Runde miss ins Eckige

Germany versus Ghana

The first half was, boring and I found myself checking Twitter, Buzzfeed and the like.

Then shortly after Ghana scored and my National pride kicked in, we have to win this.  

Deutschland vor, noch win Tor!

And so for the ninth evening in a row I sat watching shrieking, moaning, cheering and jeering with the crowd. 

So many near misses, so many edge of the seat moments in the second half.

One day I will have a house like this, maybe...

And the score was 2-2.

This World Cup is so exciting.

I would like to thank the internet for the images.

Grateful

I would like to thank everyone for all the cards, emails, messages and visits over the past couple if weeks.  It is lovely to feel so loved.

Here are a selection of the lovely cards.

Made by the gorgeous Panda class ( and some tigers).

So much love, thank you all. xxx

Brazil 2014

The World Cup is on.  ⚽️

I have decided rather than fight this, I will watch and join in.  

I have watched more football in the past week, than I have in the past four years.

I do enjoy the World Cup, everyone is an expert.  I have even found myself cursing referees and cheering on the underdogs.

However even I can reach saturation point and last night was it.  Yes we became one of those families.

The joke is on me though, I broke the upstairs TV and now have nothing to watch!

Deutschland, Deutschland uber alles.

Taxi for England 

Recuperating nicely

Well it has been nearly two weeks since the procedure and I am starting to feel human again.  I can't believe that it has taken me two week to heal, but I have definitely need that time to make myself better.

 

 

 

 

Day 2-5

 

We're spent asleep mainly. I had bought myself the Northern Exposure box set to keep myself entertained.  As I couldn't keep my eyes open for longer than twenty minutes, I don't remember much past the first episode.  Love this programme, by the way.  Just when it can't get any weirder along comes a moose.

 

Days 6-10

 

By now I had got myself used to feeling sore.  Then the painkillers all wore off and I was getting random pains all around my body.  I felt so uncomfortable and had to remind myself that my body knew what it was doing and it would all be worth it in the end.  By now I was more aware of my surroundings, and was conscious more hours of the day.  I discovered the 'buy now' button on my amazon account....  The Ginger one was inundated with knocks at the door from various delivery personnel.  I am now the proud owner of a piece of artwork that I like to call "Meiko".  The Ginger one has taken delivery of more Muppet socks than he can cope with.

 

My stitches were removed on day six, they came out quite easily, except for the one in my belly button, which kept trying to hide. Ginger one has been extremely vigilant, checking out my scars and ensuring that they are clean and healing well.

 

Days 11+

 

My knight in shining armour had to return to work, I was distraught and very nervous about how I would cope alone.  For over a week I hadn't been left alone for more than an hour.  The first day I cocooned myself on the sofa, not very comfortable when the country was in the grip of a heat wave, and didn't move.  When Ginger one came home he did the usual meet and great and then he notice one of my scars was protruding from my nightie, and it was very red and had a yellow crust (TMI I know but I have held back so much, 'squashing a Smurf' springs to mind).  I was told to go to the doctor, which I did.  Over the course of my recovery, Ginger one had not let my lift a finger, for fear that I may burst at the seams, so to speak. So I happily obliged and left everything to him.  it turns out the one thing Ginger couldn't stop me from doing, and the one thing that did eventually split my wound, was sneezing,  According to the GP I had torn my wound, probably sneezing, and the body couldn't provide enough skin to cover the wound so had filled it in with the 'yellow gunk'.  All I need was to cover it with petroleum jelly and a plaster.

A bit of plagiarism

I was inspired to start this blog by a fantastic lady who has been through a similar struggle.  She also underwent ovarian drilling and thankfully has had a successful and positive outcome.  She has devised a do's and don'ts list when talking to women with fertility issues.  Which I have wanted to post on here for ages.

* Provide unbiased support. Sometimes I just wanna cry, or vent, or talk about how upset I am. Please just let me have this release and I promise I'll feel better.

* Give genuine hugs. I can feel how much you care.

* Pray.
* Give me space. I'm obviously not shy about sharing our struggles, but there are few times where I'd rather just not talk about it.

* Let me drink a beer. If my doctor says it's ok, then don't judge me.

* Let me cry. Sometimes this is the only thing that makes things better at that very moment. Don't be embarrassed or uncomfortable.

* Randomly email, call, text. I can't begin to explain how important those little gestures mean to me.

* Allow for my emotional and hormonal roller coaster I call my day to day life. I'm sorry in advanced for any meltdowns, outbursts, hot flashes, or whatever else may come without warning.

* Listen.

* Offer unsolicited fertility advice. While I appreciate helpful advice, I also know what's wrong with me. I don't ovulate. Like, at all. So telling me that your second cousins step brothers best friends aunt tried 10 years to have a baby and then tried (insert specific diet, drug, workout, position) and now has 10 beautiful children isn't helpful.

* Start any sentence with "Have you tried. . ." Yes I probably have, and no it hasn't worked.

* Tell me it will happen when I stop trying. Honestly? We did that the last four or so years. No, actually it won't happen when we stop trying, because again, I do not ovulate on my own. That little detail is pretty important in making a baby.

* Tell me not to be so negative when I'm upset that something didn't work.  While I know this is well-intended, and for the most part I do try to stay positive, sometimes I just want to be bummed. I didn't get the results I wanted and it hurts and it sucks. Let me feel like this.

* Talk about my weight or body. Or even worse, tell me I look pregnant! It's not hard to look at my body as broken or as the enemy in this process, and I don't need to be reminded that my outside reflects this fact.

* Talk about how crazy your kids are and how lucky we are to sleep in. Not cool.

* Tell me to relax or not stress about it. I am managing my stress pretty well if you ask me, and I don't need to be reminded that the unavoidable stress is bad for my situation.

* Judge my choices. You can't say what you would do until you're put in that situation.

* Ask me if I'm pregnant yet. Trust me, you will know when it happens and when I'm ready to share it!

Again, from day one we've had nothing but love and support. Anytime I've been hurt or frustrated with what people tell me, I know it's not ill-willed or malicious. However, that doesn't escape the fact that it still hurts, sometimes pretty bad. So whether it be someone you know struggling with infertility or any other difficult situation, remember to be considerate, compassionate, and when in doubt, a simple hug and a "I'm here for you" is usually all that's needed.
Again this list was originally found at the blog of The NoleNurse

Time for tea

As I arrived back on the ward my one thought was Stuey!  Unbeknownst to me the whole procedure which was supposed to take two hours took an hour and a half.  The ginger one had been bimmbling around the hospital in search of sustenance.  He had just got back when I arrived, all groggy and worse for wear, yes I have a photo.

My main thought when I eventually came round was for some grub, I wanted toast, and tea a nice cup of tea makes everything better.

I was still hooked up to machines, drips, and oxygen.  I was under observation because my blood pressure was low, it always is though.  

My tea and toast arrived and before I could move my Florence Stueygale had cut up the toast and decanted my tea into sippable portions.

Then we just waited for my bladder to be emptied before I could be discharged into his ever caring hands.

Drilling Day

Friday 6th June the day of the drilling arrives.

We arrived at the hospital twenty minutes early, in the naive belief that the earlier we got to the hospital the earlier I would be seen.

I was sorely mistaken,we waited and waited, getting hungrier and hungrier. (On a side note how cruel to give toast to one patient when the rest of us were famished). Four hours later after I had been measured for the glamourous anti thrombosis stockings, I made my way to the theatre.

In the anaesthesia room, I lay worried that the anaesthetic wouldn't work and I would be conscious the entire procedure.

"You should start to feel a little bit drunk."  I started to shake my head to disagree...

Next thing I know I am being rudely awoken from the best dream I've ever had (can't remember it though).  

"How are you feeling?"

"Nooooooo, that was such a good dream!"  At that moment everyone in the room was my enemy. 

As I slowly became accustomed to my surroundings, I felt the most enormous irritation on my face.  My nose was so itchy I could have ripped it off my face. 

"My nose is itchy. MY nose is itchy.  MY NOSE IS ITCHY!"  

"Oh that is normal."  

In a haze of anaesthesia I was wheeled back to the ward to begin my recovery.

November 2013

The Ginger one and I had officially (medically assisted) been trying to conceive for seven months, unofficially for years, without much happening.  I have been taking Clomid each cycle with no luck and have also been taking the drug Metformin to regulate my insulin (PCOS sufferer are know to be insulin resistant) my nurse Julia (not her real name) decided after consulting with my consultant (whom I have never met/can't remember meeting) that we should give Clomid a rest and try ovarian drilling!!!!

We had scanned every month for seven months and never seen any signs of ovulation.  The procedure of ovarian drilling involves a laparoscopy and a laser burning holes into my ovaries to stimulate them to do what they should naturally be doing.  To be considered for the operation I had to lose weight, easier said than done.  However the stress from work had had one benefit I had lost over a stone and was now eligible to have the surgery. 

Julia, who by now was fed up of telling me that I needed to reduce my work hours or quit, suggested that we might want to look into IVF, while we waited for the drilling.  For some reason, I can't explain, I am not too keen, yet, to try IVF and would rather try all other options first.  I smiled at her, but didn't look to reassured, so she suggested that perhaps I should try acupuncture, it can hep boost fertility and relieve stress.  I am willing to give it a try.