A bit of plagiarism

I was inspired to start this blog by a fantastic lady who has been through a similar struggle.  She also underwent ovarian drilling and thankfully has had a successful and positive outcome.  She has devised a do's and don'ts list when talking to women with fertility issues.  Which I have wanted to post on here for ages.

* Provide unbiased support. Sometimes I just wanna cry, or vent, or talk about how upset I am. Please just let me have this release and I promise I'll feel better.

* Give genuine hugs. I can feel how much you care.

* Pray.
* Give me space. I'm obviously not shy about sharing our struggles, but there are few times where I'd rather just not talk about it.

* Let me drink a beer. If my doctor says it's ok, then don't judge me.

* Let me cry. Sometimes this is the only thing that makes things better at that very moment. Don't be embarrassed or uncomfortable.

* Randomly email, call, text. I can't begin to explain how important those little gestures mean to me.

* Allow for my emotional and hormonal roller coaster I call my day to day life. I'm sorry in advanced for any meltdowns, outbursts, hot flashes, or whatever else may come without warning.

* Listen.

* Offer unsolicited fertility advice. While I appreciate helpful advice, I also know what's wrong with me. I don't ovulate. Like, at all. So telling me that your second cousins step brothers best friends aunt tried 10 years to have a baby and then tried (insert specific diet, drug, workout, position) and now has 10 beautiful children isn't helpful.

* Start any sentence with "Have you tried. . ." Yes I probably have, and no it hasn't worked.

* Tell me it will happen when I stop trying. Honestly? We did that the last four or so years. No, actually it won't happen when we stop trying, because again, I do not ovulate on my own. That little detail is pretty important in making a baby.

* Tell me not to be so negative when I'm upset that something didn't work.  While I know this is well-intended, and for the most part I do try to stay positive, sometimes I just want to be bummed. I didn't get the results I wanted and it hurts and it sucks. Let me feel like this.

* Talk about my weight or body. Or even worse, tell me I look pregnant! It's not hard to look at my body as broken or as the enemy in this process, and I don't need to be reminded that my outside reflects this fact.

* Talk about how crazy your kids are and how lucky we are to sleep in. Not cool.

* Tell me to relax or not stress about it. I am managing my stress pretty well if you ask me, and I don't need to be reminded that the unavoidable stress is bad for my situation.

* Judge my choices. You can't say what you would do until you're put in that situation.

* Ask me if I'm pregnant yet. Trust me, you will know when it happens and when I'm ready to share it!

Again, from day one we've had nothing but love and support. Anytime I've been hurt or frustrated with what people tell me, I know it's not ill-willed or malicious. However, that doesn't escape the fact that it still hurts, sometimes pretty bad. So whether it be someone you know struggling with infertility or any other difficult situation, remember to be considerate, compassionate, and when in doubt, a simple hug and a "I'm here for you" is usually all that's needed.
Again this list was originally found at the blog of The NoleNurse