Such a sucker!

Many moons ago when I was in the grip of the anxiety/stress cycle that I couldn't break free from.  Caused by work, I hasten to add. I decided to book myself onto a meditation workshop every Monday evening, however things got too difficult to juggle and as with all of the things I love that help me to relieve stress I didn't go. 

Feeling awful for not puttingl myself at the centre of my world, as everyone should do, I heard about and quickly signed up for a days meditation at the Global Retreat Centre, it would be a whole day dedicated to mindfulness and mediatation.  

I needed someone to turn that awful inner voice down and turn up the volume on my positive voice, or at least give me the tools to do it or myself.

I arrived at ten and was promptly told to make myself comfortable.  As I always do I looked for someone interesting to cling on too, and I found this lovely lady from Oxford. Lady from Oxford (Ox) was with a lady from London (Lon) and a lady from Essex (SX).  It soon became clear that Ox had attended one of these workshops before so I stuck to her like glue.  

The first session was all about connecting to your inner voice and how being mindful could help to channel out the negative thoughts that can overtake you (three hours summed up in one sentence!).  After the first workshop we had lunch it was a delicious vegetarian curry and trimmings.  It was here that I lost Ox, she had wants a quick chat with the tutor, I'm no swot so I didn't hang around. 

Lunch tray in hand I followed Lon and Ex and we began swapping war stories as only women can, each one was worse than the one before.  I couldn't join in, I loved my husband, we were still married and I had no children for him to manipulate.  These ladies were bitter and they didn't mind sharing all the nitty gritty details of their lives (bit like this blog). 

Lon told me she lived in North London and she had been meditating all her life without even being aware of it.  To me, as an untrained professional, what she was describing sounded like "petit mal" little seizures which cause individuals to momentarily loose focus.  Lon had great stories about her job as a security officer at an airport and I lapped up these stories.  I won't repeat because they were rather graphic.

Now the reason for this story is that, I went for my three month post op chat with my GP this afternoon and I got there early, always do.  I was sat on the chairs nearest the window there were four chairs to my left, all unoccupied, and five chairs to my right also unoccupied.  A lady and her teenage daughter arrive and sit right next to me.  All those chairs and they invade my space.  I shuffle and hmpfh, then they begin to play what must be an advertising logo game.  

They begin calling out random brand names, Colgate, fruit of the loom, Sainsburys.  I smile at them, politely although inside I just want to move along a chair or two.  Other people have arrived and they think were together, especially when the woman says to me "have you seen the spider?  You're lucky it's in the outside!"  "I'm not looking!" I reply.  It's then that I reialise I know her.

She's not a teacher 

She doesn't work at the hospital

She doesn't work in a supermarket

Did we do first aid training together? 

No, we did something together.... Then I remembered her voice saying "I've got to leave before the afternoon session because I have to drive back to London!"  It was Lon!  She was in the village medical centre in Oxfordshire.

I remember telling her were I lived and how long it had taken me to get to the retreat (a smug ten miniutes) when he had proclaimed gourde spent in traffic. Now there is a chance she and her family moved up here but I am so suspicious.

SX had said to me during lunch "you have a very trusting nature!"  What he meant was SUCKER!

Stepping up

I had issues with every thing on Monday the pedometer didn't start working properly until I'd already been at school for an hour!

A better set of numbers, I'm sure it would have crossed the ten threshold had I worn it out with me in the evening.

Date nightarama

I couldn't be bothered to cook this evening, I'm still fighting my way through this blooming cold.  Harvester is a great no nonsense, meal out without the fuss kind of place.  I love it, especially the salad bar.  I was looking forward to it all day.

As I waited for G.O to get ready, he couldn't wear the first outfit because the shirt was too creased. G.O wondered whether the Gourmet Society had connections with Harvester, they didn't but the BeefEater chain did and there was one round the corner.  Off we went into pastures new...

It turns out that BeefEater restaurants are just like my beloved Harvesters.  I began a mental comparison between the two establishments. 

Harvester has;

A salad bar

Free pop refills

Jack Daniels sauce

Beefeater;

Doesn't have the above, but what was this?  Baked Camembert, and free refills (although we had already ordered cokes) this was looking promising. 

"There's a fifteen minute wait for the Camembert, is that alright?"  Asked Tomaz our pleasant Polish waiter.  It was alright by me.  It arrived fourteen minutes later and it was well worth the wait.

It arrived on a bread board with sliced rye bread and onion marmalade.  And was yummy.

Starter finished we waited for our main course, a simple round of steak and chips.  The ever attentive waiter came over and said, that he had a surprise for us.  From behind his back he produced a balloon dog!

What a random moment.  We were still giggling when our steaks arrived, as is now the case the chips were separate in their own little container.  When did food stop being served on one plate?

As we finished we were asked if we wanted desert, I'm not much if a desert person, so we decided to share a sundae.  The popcorn and caramel sundae sounded awesome.  "So one large sharing sundae?" Yes.

When it arrived it was massive, it took over half an hour to eat it and I could only manage a few spoonful but G.O persevered and finally we finished it.

Through gritted teeth and with a fake smile plastered  G.O whispered "he's coming back.  He's coming back!"  Just then the waiter arrived back and brandished a purple sword!!!

It was a fun evening and I am definitely going to go back to the Beefeater again. Although I imagine to balloons were just a one off.

Facebook challenge

Thank you HM for my seven days of three positives.  I shall nominate SEB, JP and JB.
Okay, day one ....

1, I enjoyed a lovely meal, out with my husband Stuart Murray.
2, the weather's getting cooler so out come the squishy, cuddly duvet.
3, I successfully made a secret surprise chocolate cake.

Let's see what positives tomorrow brings.

Sunday Night

After a grotty Weekend, I'm full of an awful cold, it's nice to snuggle in.  

There are two things that make me happy on Sunday evening G.O and good TV.

Unfortunately G.O is working tonight, again, but happily Downton Abbey is back.  I do love a bit of English pomposity.  

Back to the Crawley dramas both upstairs and downstairs.  I would definitely have been an upstairs myself.

Adverts over, speak soon. 

Cxxx

Great Wheatley Bake Off

I have to admit that once school starts and the nights start drawing in I do love making myself nice and cozy.  I love nothing more than curling up on the sofa with a good book book or film, a cup of tea and a yummy cake.

At the moment the films I'm loving are polar opposites from each other (not so much the themes are very similar) the Disney Tinkerbell movies and apocalypse type films (there was a touch of the day after tomorrow in Tinkerbell an the secret of the wings).

For the past couple of years I had started to rely on shop bought cakes to satisfy my Sunday afternoon treat needs, call it stress related, I just couldn't bring myself to bake anything.  So it was with great joy that I woke up early an began a little baking project I had seen on Pinterest.

After a deciding on the two cakes I wanted to use (chocolate and vanilla a classic combo) I started to make a hidden cake, that's what I'm calling it.  The outside was a vanilla sponge an hidden inside was secret chocolate star, that was baked into the sponge.  

I didn't hold out much hope, my first attempts always need a bit of tweaking, but I am so glad to say this time it actually worked.  When I cut into the cake you could see the chocolate star makes into the cake. Not only did it look good it tasted yummy too, perfect with a mug of Assam and The Great Fairy Rescue.

Just in case

In the new school they begin each staff meeting with a prayer or a "moment" I'm posting this just in case I need it.  Quite a lovely sentiment I think.

Polls closed

The polls are closed in the Scottish referendum, I vote No!  We are definitely better together.  It will be interesting which ever way the vote goes.  I'm a proud Scot and I support the decision no matter.

10,000 steps for a better life

A while back I read an article in a newspaper that said walking 10,000 steps was the key to a healthier lifestyle.  Most people only managed to walk between 5000 and 6000 a day which is considered to be part of a sedentary lifestyle and is one of the causes of the obesity epidemic here in the UK.

 

Mamilein had given me a pedometer that she no longer needed, so I decided that I would use it to see how far off 10,000 steps a day was, without putting in an extras.  No parking further from walk, or walking to the supermarket.  This was my control, to find out how many steps a normal day consisted of.  I was surprised to find in the first couple of days I was walking about 8000 steps, that was just day to day business at school.  So I decided to step it up a gear (pun intended) to see what I would need to do just to increase my step count to the illusive 10,000. 

 

I began by being more mindful of times when I could increase steps.  I would park further away in the supermarket car park, I ran up and down the stairs a few times to add steps to my counter, I walked the long was round to get to the corner shop. 

 

Soon enough I was reaching the 10,000 plus mark on my counter on a daily basis.  I haven't worked out what this is in kilometres and miles, yet.  I feel so much better for doing this, I know that if I can't be bothered to go swimming or to aerobics I don't have to feel guilty as I am walking a lot in my day to day life.  Some days its easy to reach 10,000 steps, particularly when I take the bus to walk and have to walk up the hill at home time.  Other days it's a struggle to get past 8000 steps, but I feel on the whole they balance each other out.

 

Today I returned home after a long day, I travelled on the bus and decided to get off a couple of stops earlier so that I could get a Chai Latte for my walk to school.  I knew I had a first aid course after school until early evening and just got on with things.  By the time I had walked up the hill and got on the bus (at the wrong stop according to the bus driver)  and collapsed into my seat, I had managed to clock up and impressive 13,000 steps and by the time I got home it had just past 14,000.  I feel very proud of myself and think I deserve a well earned soak in the tub.  Which id where I 'm off right now, ciao.

 

XXXC

 

Check out these sites for more information on the benefits of walking 10,000

 

More information about 10,000 steps

 

http://www.thewalkingsite.com/10000steps.html

 

What a week

I have been receiving lots of messages and emails from some of the lovely people at the little village school (lvs).  It's lovely that they haven't forgotten me, it makes me miss them though.

I had a nice and very busy week at the catholic school. It is such a friendly school, I was eating my lunch on Thursday when the head sat next to me at the table. In the lvs that always meant I was in trouble for something.  

"How has your week been?  I was wondering if you had made any future plans because I would be happy for you to stay."  I have only been at the school a week and they have offered me a job. As flattered as I am, I am supply teaching to reduce my stress levels and I can't put myself in that position again, so I had to decline.  Although it is reassuring to know that I am doing a good job and that it has been noticed.

New School....

Monday morning 6.15am and I was awake, I lay waiting for the alarm to go off.  I always find it difficult to sleep the night before school start again.  My mind wanders full of the usual worries, will I get up in  time?  I am I prepared?  Will they like me?  Will I like them?  This time I had the added worry of will I be asked to do more then I should? 

Because this time, for the first time in my 14 year teaching career I am a supply teacher, and although I have this class for three months, they are not my class. 

I can put things into place and start the normal beginning of the year routines, but come January somebody else will be taking this class through until the summer term.  Somebody else will have the joys of working with children who are now able to cope with and understand the nuances of being at school.  Who do you think teaches the children what lining up and sitting on the carpet mean and look like?  Did you think they automatically do it?   

Part of me feels sad, I would love to take these 30 little tikes all the way to year 1, but I have to be realistic.  Teaching is a hard and very stressful job  (right behind paramedic and nurse on the stressful jobometer), made even worse by all of the bureaucracy and paper shuffling involved these days, and I cannot put myself in the position where I am dealing with extra stress.   After my operation the results showed that there was nothing wrong  with my baby factory (apart form my cystic ovaries). Which, I believe means that the only reason G.O and I haven't conceived is down to stress, and the only stress in my life these past couple of years has been due to work.  It was a hard decision to make but I feel that working as a supply will enable me to manage the stress.  I choose to take a three month placement at a school as I felt it would offer me the security of routine (I love routines) and allow me the chance to breathe and enjoy life again.

So fingers crossed, sprinkle the baby dust and lets hope this has the positive outcome we are wishing for.