Monday morning 6.15am and I was awake, I lay waiting for the alarm to go off. I always find it difficult to sleep the night before school start again. My mind wanders full of the usual worries, will I get up in time? I am I prepared? Will they like me? Will I like them? This time I had the added worry of will I be asked to do more then I should?
Because this time, for the first time in my 14 year teaching career I am a supply teacher, and although I have this class for three months, they are not my class.
I can put things into place and start the normal beginning of the year routines, but come January somebody else will be taking this class through until the summer term. Somebody else will have the joys of working with children who are now able to cope with and understand the nuances of being at school. Who do you think teaches the children what lining up and sitting on the carpet mean and look like? Did you think they automatically do it?
Part of me feels sad, I would love to take these 30 little tikes all the way to year 1, but I have to be realistic. Teaching is a hard and very stressful job (right behind paramedic and nurse on the stressful jobometer), made even worse by all of the bureaucracy and paper shuffling involved these days, and I cannot put myself in the position where I am dealing with extra stress. After my operation the results showed that there was nothing wrong with my baby factory (apart form my cystic ovaries). Which, I believe means that the only reason G.O and I haven't conceived is down to stress, and the only stress in my life these past couple of years has been due to work. It was a hard decision to make but I feel that working as a supply will enable me to manage the stress. I choose to take a three month placement at a school as I felt it would offer me the security of routine (I love routines) and allow me the chance to breathe and enjoy life again.
So fingers crossed, sprinkle the baby dust and lets hope this has the positive outcome we are wishing for.
