Happy Birthday 🥳

Happy birthday biglilbro you are the best road trip planner, we had an amazing time with you guys just let us book the hotels next time, 🌟🌟🌟 at least please.

The Gingerbread Haus World Tour of The States

I’m still buzzing, I think I’m in shock, I cannot believe that we did that.  I’m still trying to come to terms with what we’ve seen, where we’ve been, what we’ve done.  This trip was immense.  Most people do some of it, some people do a lot of it but only we did all of it (two of us for the second time, one for the third) and in less than three weeks. 

On arrival in Calgary we spent the day just chilling, making the most of the rooftop hot tub, watching the planes take of and land and exploring the little restaurant and cafes nearby. We were waiting for the Outlaws to arrive.  I was tracking them on Google maps.  It was a long, boring day.  Once we met up plans were out into motion. Where were we going? Well....

Calgary - Alberta

Banff

Canmore

Lake Louise

Johnson Canyon

Drumheller

Hoodoo Trail 

Alberta Prairies 

Ralston (my old house)

Montana Pioneer Lodge

Yellowstone Park - Montana 

Grand Teton National Park - Wyoming

Jackson Hole (drove through)

Idaho Falls 

Zion Park - Utah

Red Rock Canyon - Nevada

Death Valley - California

Grand Canyon - Arizona

Las Vegas - Nevada

Lesson learned

I swapped my Tom’s for the hotel slippers I had brought with me, put the airline blanket on my seat and the floor (in case I wanted to go barefoot, put on my travel socks, sorted out all of my snacks and drinks, blew up my pillow, put the airline pillow business my back for support, put in my ear plugs and pulled down my sleep mask.  I waited for sleep, it didn’t come.  The gentleman across the aisle from me had no Smartphone, no book, he kept his shoes and jacket on the whole flight and was asleep within minutes of take off. Maybe I had too much stuff, nah, anyone can be uncomfortable.

Kind regards Cx

Yellowstone

We made it to Yellowstone Booboo.

Yes we’re those people who wear matching T-Shirts on holiday.  Only because they were buy one get one free in the gift shop.  Probably because they were slightly inappropriate, although I thought they were funny in an ironic way. 

We only had a day so we tried to include the major sites, we knew we would have to miss out on things, you can’t do everything with our schedule but we managed to see a heck of a lot.  

The video if the trip is available, warning the Old Faithful shots are upside down, sorry.

What we’ve eaten

Day 1 - Popeye’s chicken on the first night was disappointing, maybe I was jet lagged, maybe it’s the just the Canadians but the gravy was some sort of lumpy, currish mush and they didn’t serve any dirty rice.  This was the second restaurant we visited as the first smelled like a sewer. “That’s Canada!” says GO.

Day 2 - First morning we hit Fran’s diner on College Street, the menu is basic grub.  “Try something new.”  Was GO’s only demand so I plumped for the steak (6oz medium rare) and eggs (over easy) and GO went for Morning Glory.

We bypassed lunch as breakfast was huge and popped into Tim Horton’s for coffee and a donut.  We had seen one in Altrincham but had decided that our first one should be in Canada .  Well neither the Indian nor the Somali girl could cope with the volume of customers (there were six) and were frantically taking orders and just generally being unhelpful.  We had two scalding hot coffees and a tasteless maple donut.  Definitely not worth the wait.

Dinner that evening was a complete accident, we found a food court in the Eaton Mall, how we found it I’ll never know, it was quite early in the evening but as we passed a Chinese outlet they were making up boxes of dishes and selling them at a reduced rate.  GO had a box with chicken, veg and beef and noodles.  I choose a box with orange chicken, beef and what looked like chicken but turned out to be tofu.  Interesting, is like a very soft and light jelly without any flavour.  I ate most of it but couldn’t stomach all of it.

Day 3 - we had a day trip to Niagara planned the coach was arriving at 8.30 so we dashed to MacDonald’s where I had a breakfast wrap, it was tiny and made up of an omelette and some peppers, GO had a breakfast waffle sandwich.

Lunch was included in the trip but we were never told what it would be so it was all a mystery.  We were taken up to the Sheraton hotel overlooking the falls and were shown to a buffet, we had to pay for the drinks but everything else was included in the price of the trip.  I filled up my plate with salad, returned for some pasta and finished up with some desert.  We had a 60 minute turnaround which for buffet professionals like us was no big deal.

For our evening meal we returned to Fran’s as we still hadn’t sampled any Poutine and I wanted some before we went west.  The waitress was lovely and suggest that with GO and  I both ordering sandwiches we sauce out the fries for a portion of Poutine split between our plates.  I had a Newyork steak sandwich (like a philli cheese steak but with mozzarella) GO had a maple sandwich.

Day 4 - transit day, we got to the airport and had a Tim Horton’s Sausage Homestyle Biscuit meal with French Vanilla coffee and it was delicious, there was a reason the queue was twenty minutes long.  Tim Horton’s for the win, GO wouldn’t stop taking about the coffee.

Lunch was not provided on the plane so we devoured the crisps/chips we had bought along in our hand luggage.

By the time the evening rolled around we were starving, I spotted what looked like a Wendy’s over the rooftops of our hotel so off we went.  GO had never been to one before so was surprised by the square burgers. We are into a groove now so we both knew we’d have ice tea to drink and enjoyed the burgers.  I had a Dave triple which I had to deconstruct and eat each patty separately.

Day 5 - a relaxing day for us breakfast was another farmhouse style biscuit meal from Tim Horton’s with French Vanilla to wash it down.

For lunch we had a Burrito bowl, GO went with a Southwestern steak I had Jalapeño peach chicken bowl.  I commented that either I have become accustomed to spice as I didn’t feel any heat or the sever could sense that I am a wimp and made it milder, either way it was yummy and made a change from fried junk.

On reuniting with the outlaws they had strict plans for what to eat and we went for and A&W.  It was not pleasant, everything was dripping in grease and the whole place felt grubby.  It’s a no from me.

Day 6 - starting off with a complimentary breakfast of a giant waffle, powdered eggs and a flat sausage that looked like a hash browns.

Lunch - was non existent, I struggled with the fact that the outlaws don’t do lunch!? I did manage to get them to have a Beavertails.  GO had an avalanche, cream cheese and Skor (like a Daaim) bits.  They were huge and absolutely  scrummy.

For our evening meal we had a Swiss Chalet, apparently I used to eat here all the time when I lived in Canada but I can’t remember.  Roast beef, chicken, jacket potato, slaw and a roll.  It was just what the doctor ordered.

Day 7 - hotel breakfast, I wasn’t looking forward to it but I had a plan.  Toasted bagel with peanut butter, always fills me up till lunch.  We supplemented the food with a Tim Horton’s  French Vanilla coffee.  The outlaws had never had one and they devoured them.  

Lunch today was at a saloon called the Last Post it was a proper sawdust on the floor hole.  GO and I shared some fries and gravy and honey garlic wings, we have lost our appetites and I’m starting to get sick of burgers and fries.

Our Adventure

I remember diving along the dual carriageway in Oxford after I’d picked GO from work and we were discussing 40th birthdays and what we wanted.  I wanted a thoughtful surprise, GO didn’t want anything. I said if he was lucky I’d take him to Vegas!  Flash forward ten years and we’re no longer in Oxfordshire or the South even. We’ve moved lock stock and barrel up to the Northernshire, bought a house both have jobs we can stand. We are still child and dog less, for now at least (I want a puppy).  We/I decided to book a proper big holiday, try and add some countries to GO’s list.  All I could think of was Vegas, how to do it so that it was meaningful and not just a boozathon.  We went to Trailfinders had a chat and before we could say “sounds like a plan” we’d booked a flight to Toronto with a few days to explore, another one to Calgary where we hoped to meet up with biglilbro and US sinlaw.  What would follow would be in theory an epic road trip round the Rockies and down to Vegas.  Now blb didn’t seem to keen on Vegas so we booked a hotel there for three nights.  Then he changed his mind and the itinerary so we are now staying two nights with them in Vegas before they drive home.  The only problem is that we have two days after they leave before our swanky hotel booking starts.  We are undecided about what to do Los Angeles or Las Vegas?  We’ve decided to try an old classic hotel in Vegas before the luxury spa so we are staying in the Golden Nugget, let’s see how it goes down. 

Waiting for the outlaws

Second flight of the trip Toronto to Calgary was uneventful, we left a warm and humid Toronto and arrived three and a half hours later in 1992.  The airport looked exactly as it had in 1992, all brown, yellow and tired. 

It turns out that is was only the internal flights area that had been neglected.  The rest of the airport was modern, clean and stylish.

We had booked ourselves into an airport hotel as the outlaws were going to come and pick us up the following day.  There was mention of us finding the new hotel and meeting there but when we heard there was a rooftop hot tub we knew where we would be.

We relaxed in the hot tub, and watched the planes land and take off from the airport.  It was such a nice way to spend an afternoon.  While investigating the roof we noticed that a couple of streets away there was a strip mall with what looked like a Wendy’s diner.  Dinner here we come.

Little did we know that we would spend the whole day at the little strip mall.  We had underestimated how long it would take the outlaws to get to to us from Montana.  We checked out of the hotel at 11am and spent the entire day wandering from eatery to eatery.  Around the car show rooms and down to a lorry fuel station and back again.

We spent almost of the day in Tim Horton’s devouring the Visio today sandwiches and French Vanilla Coffee.  We joined the loyalty scheme and managed to earn enough points for a free donut.

We explored the warehouses, gyms and businesses that were alone the roadside.  Had we known how long it would take we would have taken a bus into Calgary. It was like waiting for a car to be repaired.

Meeting up with the locals (massive dragonfly) and enjoying a burrito bowl at a Tex Mex opposite the “Smoke House”.  Should have gone in there, it would have gobbled up a few hours.  Instead we got slushies.

Brain Freeze and a spot of rain, what better way to spend the evening....

Back to Tim’s before being picked up and taken A&W, which was yucky.

Wonderful Waterfall

Day 3 - Niagara Falls - Niagara-on-The-Lake

When we booked our trip we had a couple hours layover in Toronto before heading for Calgary.  “Have you ever been to Toronto?”  Neither of us had.  Without much persuasion we decided to extend our layover to three nights with a stay at the Chelsea Hotel and a bus tour to Niagara.  We had taken a bus tour of the Highlands in our last visit to Edinburgh and it was great you see the sites, get local inside information and can just relax in the bus.  Early Sunday morning we waited for the coach to arrive.  We saw a guy with the Niagara Airbus logo and presumed he was our driver.  I was very nervous when he stumbled over, could hardly hear us and wasn’t able to find out names because he couldn’t see!  We were on the list, he joked with us about Burnley and Man Utd as he hurried us onto the coach.  I was relieved to find that he wasn’t the driver just the guide.  We had a few other hotels to visit to pick up our fellow travelers among them; a family of Germans, a couple from Bolton, a family from York (who had previously lived in Gibraltar, she didn’t stop talking) and a young Indian girl who was travelling around Canada on her own.  

On arrival at Niagara, Lilbigbro calls it Canada’s Blackpool, I was slightly underwhelmed.  It was a street with neon lights everywhere, a Hersey shop and lots of high rise hotels.   Our guide told us that this is the hotel where we’d been getting our lunch later (was lunch included?  I couldn’t remember) we were going to do a quick tour of Niagara and then we’d head down to the boat. The boat, I’d forgotten about the boat.  We drove down Murray Street (I know, right?) and saw the first glimpses of the falls, they were immense. “These are the American Falls, the aren’t as spectacular as the Canadian falls.” I was in awe of the falls, they looked pretty impressive to me.  Then I saw the horseshoe falls (The Canadian falls) holy moly they really were spectacular.  I had a pinch me moment, these were the Niagara Falls, I was really here.  I took the moment in.  The bus turned and we heard back to where we’d arrived, we all got off the bus and followed the guide. He led us to a kiosk and handed us a ticket, we were told to follow the walkway.  It was a surreal moment as we were handed our red ponchos (red for Canada, blue for America) and we rounded the bend to an almighty whooshing sound as hundreds of little red people boarded the Hornblower on its voyage to the Falls.  GO and I wanted to go upstairs but we were one of the last few to board so we stood downstairs we had a lovely view of the back but the falls are so immense within minutes we could see everything.  I noticed that there was a lot of room upstairs and went to explore. 

The falls envelope you as soon as you step onto the top deck you are in it’s grasp, with the sun beating down and the spray of water on your face it’s pure magic.  I called GO up and we enjoyed the view from the front of the boat.  The tour lasts about forty five minutes, I didn’t think that was long enough but it’s just about the right length.  We disembarked and made our way up to street level.  I think the view of the falls from street level is just as amazing as it is from below.  Time for lunch, I vaguely remembered reading something about lunch being included but wasn’t 100% sure.  As we arrived at the hotel no one was surprised to see us in fact as soon as we arrived the tour guide led us all upstairs to the fourth floor restaurant which turned out to be a buffet.  For $30 guests can eat what they want.  We had an hour and tried to make the most of it but had to fight with a minibus full of Italian tourists on the same tour as us (they followed us to each destination).

After lunch we headed back to the coach and to the Table Top car park where we could get up close and personal with the falls, it was quite hot so after a few amazing happy snaps GO and I made our way to the air conditioned souvenir store.  We didn’t buy anything but made the most of the cold air.  After hopping back on the coach again we drove to the Whirlpool.  A short drive along the Road we stopped at the Whirlpool Aero Park the basin where all of Niagara’s water gathers, as it all makes its way down it creates a whirlpool which you can travel over on a gondola, we didn’t have time unfortunately.

We made yet another pit stop on our way to Niagara-on-The-Lake to see a floral clock.  I didn’t want to get out as it was getting too hot and I’d seen more than my share of floral clocks (Edinburgh and Lytham to name but two) but as I was the only one left on the coach I relented and joined everyone else.  It was a clock made out of flowers.

Our final stop was to Niagara-on-the-Lake, what a cute little town.  It looked like a chocolate box or something from a Hallmark movie.  We arrived just as the Peach Festival (how cute) was finishing and the George Bernard Shaw evening was being set up.  We wandered up the Main Street and then explored the back alleyways.  The cars were enormous, they were so big people couldn’t park them and they barely saw us when we walked by.  I’ve lived in tourist destinations and it’s killer especially in high season but I’d love to live in Niagara-on-the-Lake it’s so pretty.

With the our tour came to an end and we headed back to Toronto.  We grabbed a bite to eat andpacked ready for a very early start the next morning.

On the bus to the falls we drove passed some of Canada’s wineries and they had some cracking names;

Organised Crime Wine

Foreign Affairs Wine

Atlantis Wine

Maple Grove

Megalomaniac

Greenlane

Harbor Estates

13th Street

Creek side 

How to piss off a New Yorker

Well I learned a valuable lesson today, how to piss off a New Yorker in five easy steps.

1. 

New Yorker: is this seat taken?

Me: nope

2.

New Yorker: where are you from?

Me: England

3. Me: are you here for the baseball?

New Yorker: No my wife and I (he thought I was hitting on him) are empty nesters so we’re dating again and have come away for the weekend. (I refrained from asking if it was a dirty weekend)

4. Me: Are you from Toronto?

New Yorker: No, we’re from upstate New York and Toronto is closer then Manhattan.

5. Me: Ah, Toronto is much nicer too!

New Yorker: turned his back and stopped talking to me.

Oops 😬 but it really is!

Toronto

I had a plan for our only day in Toronto, as we’d seen a lot of the downtown and college area of the city the previous evening, we were going to get a TTC (subway) to Union Street, walk to the CN tower and then make our way to the harbour before heading back up to Yonge Street.  After a wonderful breakfast at Fran’s we caught the TTC to Union Street and a wandered over to the CN tower and Toronto Blue Jays home stadium.  On the corners of the building they had caricatures of people watching a game one of whom had his hand held up in a v sign with his fingers held under his nose like a certain Austrian megalomaniac.  After having a look around we knew we weren’t going up the tower, too expensive/lines too long/look how high it is!  

We began walking towards the harbour that was when I saw a train, then a mural of a train and finally a train museum.  Before he could say anything I’d paid the entrances fee, a whopping $5.  It wasn’t anything we hadn’t seen a million times but there was a chance to drive a train, or at least a train simulator.  We waited and waited for GO to have his turn.  When he was in the drivers seat he was instructed in what to do by a young lady who to me anyway, looked like a female GO.  She talked him through the whys and the wherefore’s and he was like a kid in a sweet shop, so happy, smiling and joking away.  Once his shift was over we made our way out of the yard and came across a beer tent.  Then there were two, then three, it looked to us like some sort of beer festival.  We enquired as to the cost, $30 each entrance and then $10 for drinks tabs. We looked at each other and walked away which ich when we saw the line, outside the fence there was a queue of over a hundred people waiting to get inside.  We had somehow managed to gate crash Toronto’s beerfest.  We giggled as we past by beer, cider and gin tents and helped our selves to drinks, okay it was water but it was cold and wet and hit the spot.

We didn’t really know what to expect when we got to the harbour but I knew I was in need of a sit down. We found a huge pub called the Amsterdam Brewery it was heaving and the line went around the building we managed to get in and bypass the crowd by sitting at the bar.  We order a couple of fruity beers as we felt it was too early to be drinking, mine was a Radler and GO had a red berry beer. After spending way too much time at the bar and watching as the place filled to the brim we set off along the water front not really knowing what to do.  It was getting hot, I’d forgotten my hat and damned if I was going to but another one.  We nipped into the Toronto Modern Art Gallery a white space with amazing air con.  There were a few exhibitions on but we only explored two.  The first was a interesting piece about scam emails they artist had videoed people reading the scam emails that we all get and he played over thirty on TV’s it was quite a sensory overload.  The second was a German artist from Dresden who had three different installations the first was a silent disco type of affair, the second was a boat ride across a fjord and finally in the third rooon was a story of how a group of vigilantes in a Supermarkt  in Germany had interfered with a young boy who was suffering with mental health issues and the harassment eventually led to his death.  It was thought provoking stuff.

We carried on along the harbour stopping for a selfie here or there when a lady offered to take one of us, I knew there’d be a catch. Before handing back the phone she told us about her church and how they were looking for more “friends”.  We always find the strange ones.  We had seen pretty much all we wanted to see so I wasn’t sure what there was left to do when I remembered that Toronto had its own flat iron building.  On our way winding through the streets and avenues we had our first (and not our last) Tim Horton’s, it wasn’t great but it was sustenance.  It was getting hotter and hotter with the mercury hitting 30 degrees, we sought some shelter in the shade of a large fountain.  It took me a to notice why everyone smiled and stopped for a selfie, it was a doggy fountain.  All of the water spouts we statures if different dogs. So ridiculously cute.  We were right behind the flat iron building but before getting to it I took a detour, this became something of a habit, into a store with air conditioning and it was bliss.

You can see why TV and movies at filmed in Toronto it looks so much like New York it’s crazy, each building and street looks familiar if it wasn’t for the politeness of everyone you’d believe you were in New York or on a movie set.  Speaking of which on our way back Downtown we literally stumbled onto a film set, I have no idea what was being filmed but I enjoyed watching them shoot a group of people walking down the street again and again before finally the director yelled. “That’s a wrap let’s do the indoor scenes now!”  Just like that everyone was gone.  It was surreal, I wonder what was being filmed, probably just a commercial. 

I decided that I really wanted to visit Chinatown as it kept coming up on the map, we took the TTC to King Street and got off at the nearest station