Whisky Tasting

Am looking forward to our whisky tasting evening.  GO signed us up to the Flaviar company, who have sent five different whisky's and a step by step (ooh baby) guide to taste and rank the whisky.  We just need a couple of days off together.

Wow what a spectacular view part five

I took a wrong turn on the way home and ended up here.  What a stunning view.

3 days left

Another Countdown

Leaf Peepers

Snuggled on the sofa watching BBC Countryfile Autumn Special, I have discovered a new "thing".  Leaf peeping, people who travel around looking for signs of seasonal changes to the leaf, especially during autumn.  I want to be a peeper, I suppose I am an amateur peeper.  I love the trees in the autumn, it's my favourite time of year (as I have already mentioned, adnauseum).

London Baby

I had originally planned to meet up with a couple of my besties this weekend.

I wasn't feeling great, I wasn't up for a big night out.  I fancied just meeting up for a meal and a good natter.

We said this it was decided to postpone the evening for a couple of weeks.

As GO had already booked the time off we decided to go into the Big Smoke and just have some fun.

We did the tourist thing visiting Piccadilly Circus, Leicester Square,Trafalgar, Covent Garden, Parliment Square and The South Bank. 

It was so much fun being a tourist again.

Reminiscing about our time living in London (separately) and the fun we had.

We even managed to find a few places we had never been to before.

We stopped off for a lovely dinner and went all out with a three course meal.

The venue had a very nineteen twenties vibe.  I won't spoil anything by telling you what the venue was called (oh, alright it

was Nando's).

We felt we must visit the M and M world.

GO bought £100 worth of chocolate (I'm sure it wasn't far off that price).

I got a reasonably priced Christmas decoration. A little M&M wreath.

We spent a lot of time in the shop, it stank of chocolate and made me feel quite queasy.

We then made our way to Trafalgar Square to marvel at the "new" fourth plinth display, a horse's skeleton.

We visited The Clarence Pub, which GO used to work in in 2000.  

He reminisced with the staff behind the bar and swapped tales of working in the pub.

He persuaded me to write his name on the wall so that when we return we can see it.

We made our way toward the London Eye and just marvelled at how Bustly London is st night.

A Feel Good Date Night

Another great date night with my gorgeous husband.  GO had the day off today, while I was back to work.  It's always the way he works when I'm off and I work when he's off.  The whole day I kept thinking about what to have for dinner, I tend to think about my days in terms of meals.  I plan everything around food, which is why I am the size I am and why we have the problems TTC.

When GO suggested going out I nearly bit his hand off.  I suggested the all you can eat Indian, it's where we take guests, because there is something for everybody.  When we arrived we got chatting to the manager, the establishment had recently changed hands and was now a WA restaurant. They were working in conjunction with a Namibian charity, for every meal sold they  bought a meal for a school child in Namibia.  I have never felt so good about eating a meal before, what a fantastic idea.  I took some business card a and have been distributing them all week.  Bon appetit!

Mindfulness Colouring

I love my Mamilein, for her birthday I bought her a mindfulness colouring in book.

Papichen says she loves it, she spends hours colouring in.  I regularly get photos and videos of her latest creations.

Only my Mamilein could phone me up asking for instructions.  "Do I have to colour the backgrounds too?"  I told her they were her pictures and to do what ever she wanted.  

Bless her xxx

My current thought processes

For about a year now, actually if I'm honest, for my entire adult life, I have been seriously considering adoption. It kills me inside whe I think about the time I have wasted, waiting....

Initially I wanted to provide GO a biological child because, as I have always said, I wanted to see what our DNA would make.  I had visions of little curly red heads running around, creating mischief and just being loved.  Over time (7years) and after many, many, procedures and agonising weeks of waiting it just hasn't happened for us and I think there is a reason for this.  

I think we were meant to open our hearts andhome to the many children who are alone, for whatever reason, in this scary world and who need love, guidance and protection.

We had planned to start the proceedings in January, to give ourselves the chance of being a family this year.  I/we decided to postpone after a lengthy discussion with my GP.  We also made some pretty massive geographical decisions.

I have now come to the conclusion that we are waiting for nothing.  We are not going to conceive a child naturally, I don't want to go down the IVF route, it is painful, expensive, and there is no guarantee that it will work. 

I suppose the epiphany I have had is that I want to be somebody's mother, I want GO to be somebody's father.  At the end of the day we are not blood related (that would be so very wrong) but we are family.  We have the love and time to care and raise a child, there are thousands of children who are living without love who could fit perfectly into our hearts and lives.

What now?  Well I think we need to resettle and then start the process, it's a new chapter in the Murray house, a scary and exciting chapter.  I will have to let GO take the lead, I can't pressurise him, he needs to feel comfortable about all of this.

I once asked him if he wanted to move on from me, to find a wife who could provide him a child, he's younger than me, he has plenty of options. His response was one of confusion; "why would I do that?  You're the one I love. We will be parents however it happens they will be our children and we will love and raise them together."  

That's the man I love.  That's the man I married.  He's my hero