I’m trying to live in the moment more, it’s not easy. My mind is either in the past reliving/rehashing awful moments and the if only’s, or it’s in the future making up dire situations. 2019 has been full on, both personally and professionally (this is a story for another time) so when I have the opportunity to chill, be mindful, live the hygge life I am grabbing it with both hands. GO is painfully understanding and his natural state is to go with the flow. I used to be that way and I want to get back there, so I have made a conscious effort to live my life, to be more chill and bring the fun back. I don’t want it to become a chore so I am taking it step by step. I initially tried to be more active, maybe that was the problem, but I quicky realised that I’m just not in the mindset for that yet. I’m tired and I need to refill that pot first, I have a plan for getting active and will get started once my inner self feels up to it. How am in filling my well-being pot? I started with a bit of soul searching, thinking for a times when I felt absolutely happy. It wasn’t as hard as thought it’d be. I quickly realised that to be happy I don’t need huge mega things and I have everything I need already. Being around loved ones (naturally), twinkly lights, good food, fire, snuggling up, great music, bubbles and rocking. I’ll explain.
Most of my happiest memories have revolved around summer nights with my family. My parents are the king and queen of gemütlichkeit/huge/chillaxing and from a young age my best times/memories have been outside, toasting marshmallows on an open fire, with good food on the barbecue and great music blaring late in to the night. This is what I have been trying to recreate my whole adulthood with limited success, I’d hit one or two elements but never the whole package.
How does this memory walk help my live in the moment? I am making the most of any good weather and getting outside. Within weeks of moving into the house I bought a fire pit, and a hammock. When I used to spend the weekend shopping or spending money I’d feel good for a while, the euphoria would last a short time. Now, if I have a free moment I grab my headphones and the hammock and chill under the tree listening to a podcast/audiobook/music and chill. I have spent many and hour or two watching the clouds pass us by in the bright blue sky. I feel content, relaxed and happy and the feeling lasts. Is it having the freedom to do nothing that makes me happy? Is it the motion of the hammock? Is it that I’m in my own garden? Maybe it’s a summer thing, I don’t know but I love it and feel very content. I think I’ve finally cracked it. I have spent the whole afternoon in the hammock drinking ice tea, eating watermelon, listening to great music and face timing with my parents. I may put a fire on later, or might not, we’ll see how I feel later.
Kind Regards Curly x
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