Gingerbread Haus - Mai 2021

I have heard this comment quite a few times since we announced we were becoming foster carers.  

It always makes me smile. 

I have worked with children for over twenty years.  

I have friends with children. 

I know the havoc and destruction they cause.  

I also know that things can be mended, repaired, fixed and if needs be replaced. 

I have moved anything of sentimental value, have a cupboard full of fabric cleaning spray. 

I have accepted that at the weekend, in the holidays and for a few hours every evening I live in a pigsty  (I don't mind mess but can't abide dirt, just to be clear).

I love that on a grotty rainy day the boys feel so at home that they know they can rearrange the furniture, bring down their quilts and build a fort with the dining table.  

They snuggle down with books, toys, laptops and snacks and we don’t see them for hours.  

Come tea time we all rearrange the furniture or eat on the couch.  

This is childhood. 

This is what they need.

This is what I signed up for.

Gingerbread Life - Mai 2021

It’s about time I got some self love, so to speak

One of the many, many perks of being a foster carer is that after dropping the boys, before picking them up and if I don’t have any admin/training to do, I have time to myself, during the day.  I’m not use to having time to myself, all admin and chores while teaching full time have always been squeezed into weekends and holidays. 

I have always wanted to get into a fitness routine but by the time I got home I’d just collapse on the sofa. Now though, I have a fresh, healthy breakfast.  

Can you see the coffee in a cup, not a thermos, the porridge is eaten warm not cold as I used to eat it usually two hours after making it.   I now eat three meals, no snacking (liar), go for a run three times a week, even though it probably looks more like a survival shuffle, I’m doing it.  

I try to do a yoga session daily (this is something that I started in lockdown), I feel so much better, I am giving myself some love.  It feels strange….  I lie (again) it feels right.  

Until the school calls that is... but we’ll save that story for another day.

Gingerbread Familia - Mai ‘21

How do you celebrate a tenth birthday with someone you have only known for two months and has spent half of that time in an angry fit of rage?  We had some ideas but he gave us nothing, we’ll almost nothing the suggestions were either; a PlayStation (whatever number) or move home.  Neither of those were in my want to do or remit to do. He has a bit of a gambling/gaming/sugar addiction so I planned a tame day.  

After gifts (something to wear, something to read, something you want, something you need), calls to parents and a fancy croissant breakfast.  We headed to Manchester Airport to watch planes take of and land.  In hindsight on a rainy day just combing out of another lockdown with holidays tentatively back on this might not have been the best idea.  While usually it’s non stop the panned were few and far between and the planes that you can normally go in were close due to Covid. 

Second stop Trafford Centre; not to buy a gift just to look around, maybe spend some birthday money.  Again Covid rules were in force meaning we had to wait for about twenty minutes to go in so that there weren’t too many people inside at the same time.  After a bimble around and a quick look in the Lego who we had some lunch. Where you ask; Archie’s?  Five Guys? Pizza Express? Nope, we had pizza and hotdogs from Costco.  

Then, the reason we had come all this way; we had a slot booked at the Dino Falls mini golf course.  Just as we booked in and started our game the heavens opened and we were forced to about while it stopped.  The game it’s self was fun, birthday boy had a tantrum and kicked up the mulch which meant I got a mouthful of bark.  We didn’t stop though we forced him to finish, aware that as a child with ACE he was self sabotaging.  It could have been an awful day, it was a bit underwhelming but actually it was nice, and I think it sets the tone for celebrations to come.  It’s not about ostentatious displays of wealth it about having fun together. 

Happy birthday OlFoSo enjoy being 10, 11 is going to be a beeatch (high school here we come).

Gingerbread Life - Travels 2021

Wow!  What a week, is it only Wednesday?

We had a bit of a scare at the weekend Big Bro 😎 had a grotty night and was up coughing all night.  It wasn’t a “normal” cough it was more like a bark.  I called NHS111, they asked me to call the out of hours service, the GP said it sounded like croup but wanted us to go to the hospital.  We all bundled into the car and got checked in.  We were sent to the isolation unit and waited, and waited and waited.  The boys were amazing, they sat and waited and played games.  They were very calm, so I knew they weren’t well.  We were seen by the nurse and two doctors and while he had all of the symptoms of croup it was just a virus and all he needed was rest and fluids. 

Back home neither was able to relax in bed, getting up every five minutes. So we built a “nest” in the living room, full of pillows, blankets and duvets and they slept, watched movies and relaxed.

Monday morning, everyone is feeling much better, well rested and hydrated.  Off to school we went.  Not twenty minutes later I get a text from school one of the children in Lilbro’s 😎 class has Covid 😷 and the bubble has burst.  He need to go home and isolate. 

Not two hours into isolation he is bouncing off the walls, so we got a box and he made some armour.  We smuggly (on my part) completed the online work and submitted it only for it t be returned with a noted saying there were two pages for each activity and he/we had only finished one.

I am ready for the weekend already.

Gingerbread Travels - April 2021

As we make our way tentatively back into the big wide world.  We have found ourselves, suddenlyish, in charge two boys with two weeks of holiday to fill after only knowing them for a month. 

We have found that while not everything is “back to normal” and outside is much “safer” than indoors.  Finding new and interesting things for 8/9 year olds and grown ups that isn’t too limiting or costly has pushed my skills of planning to their limits.  I can’t lie, I do love finding activities that are cool/free/different and seeing the looks on their little faces when they see things for the first time. 

Where have we been?  As we are still getting to know each other, I don’t want to travel too far.  As they are quite “fizzy” little boys (read annoying) if they aren’t given the chance to run around, I needed places that would tire them out and have space for them to run and be loud (read normal).  

Gingerbread Life - April 2021

Am I A Runner now?

I have A LOT of free time now.....  it’s taken me a while to decided what to do to fill my days.  I have fostering admin (courses, meetings, diaries), life admin (never had the luxury of this before) and house admin (juts a posh name for cleaning).  Never before in my adult life have I had free time during the day, when things are open and places aren’t busy. I haven’t been sleeping well and I realised that while I am able to relax and take my time with things (I still haven’t been able to nap) I am not using my body as much, I used to do 7000 steps by lunchtime, now I struggle to do that in a couple of days.  I have decided to try running.

I will just let that sit there, I have chosen to run.  I am going to to the couch to 5K running schedule.  Historically I don’t get passed week three so I am hoping that documenting it will make me more accountable (it worked for the walking). I have a spot by the river that I have decided to use, I walk on the bumpy bits and run on the flat.  Let’s see how this goes...

Gingerbread Familia - April 2021

Happy Bronze Anniversary My Love

It’s been a weird one, we didn’t really get a chance to celebrate, after last year with the pandemic in full flow and this year with our two new arrivals we haven’t really had a chance to celebrate our marriage and how far we have come.  It’s not easy at the moment, we bicker and snap at each other like never before but we are both making a conscious effort to spend quality time ftogether.  It doesn’t help that because that boys are on holiday and GO is working from 5am we have time together and when we do he struggles to stay awake. We are both holding out for school to be back on where we at least get to spend a few hour alone together.

Gingerbread Haus - April 2021

 🐣🐇 Frohe Ostern 🐇🐣 

“We’ve had a visit from the Easter Bunny”

Hoppy Easter 🐣 Frohe Ostern 🐰 

As the ginger one was working we postponed our Easter Bunny 🐰 visit until tomorrow, thank goodness they don’t pay any attention to the calendar, news or radio.  The amount of Easter Sunday announcements that have gone above their heads is incredible.  We have a scavenger hunt, goodie basket and a trip out planned for “Easter” but for today we’ve had surprise garden visits, video calls and a movie or two.  I’ve managed to sneak off for a 🚿 which has magically turned into a 🛀🏻, relaxing soak here I come.  Only one week left till they go back to school. 🏫 

Gingerbread Life - Marz 2021

They're here, let the battle begin….

Following the plan set up by everyone else (social workers ours and theirs, school, and previous carer) we had a schedule to follow to meet the boys and then get them ready to move in. 

We began with a lunch, with some crafting, one Sunday afternoon, followed by a walk around a local reservoir.  I began how I intend to go on, strict rules and when LSR tried to run away I called him back and made him hold my hand while we chatted and walked. He wasn't happy but I had already stamped my authority.   JJR was keen to show us how quick, strong, fast he was by running up and down "I am so fit"!  

A few days later they had an overnight stay; their carer dropped them off.  She has given me a schedule that she follows that she says works for both boys.  I will use it initially but will quickly make my own schedule.  She has very strong opinions of the boys ( both positive and negative) but like when I get a new class, I will take everything with a pinch of salt.  She and her husband have worked hard to help the boys to settles into a routine but from what I can already see there was a definite lack of nurture which all children need.   After they were dropped off we went to the local park and had tea some pasta bake, "this is very crunchy"!  came the comment from LSR, I wonder if we will get on.  

Move In Day

After the chaos of arrival and sorting out all of their bits and pieces we decided to have a bit of time together to build a bond, playing Mario Kart, we couldn’t find the controllers which made LSR quite angry, this is going to be a long day. He is quickly trying to make his mark and push boundaries but I am not here to be used a punching bag, so we had a very quick chat about rules and expectations. Our SW has said we don't need too many rules but I disagree, and have told her this. I would rather start with too many rules that can be eased/removed over time, rather than being too lenient initially, which will cause no end of issues. Our rules are more about being decent people rather than controlling the children, every behaviour or action both positive or negative will have a consequence it may be that they gain knowledge/skills/treats/time in or lose time/priviledges/relationships but we will hold them accountable for their actions. This isn't going to be easy but we will see how we do.

Gingerbread Travel - Marz 2021

Oh it's alright, I’ll walk, just down the road....

I dropped the car off at the garage and I couldn't get the train/bus timings to work so I decided to walk home, as GO was at work I was on my own all day anyway.