Hello
I was thinking about you today and thought I’d drop you a quick message to see how you are and to apologise for being a pants friend. I can’t make any excuse for my behaviour although the past couple of years have been a bit of a roller coaster. I’ll try to catch you up without boring you.
After deciding to relocate GO and I moved in with his parents and it was as awful as you can imagine. Rather than save up for a deposit, which had been the plan we spent all our money on storing our belongings and going out. Well we couldn’t stay in. After three months we’d had enough and moved into a rented house. Still there as a matter of fact, it’s nice enough, just not ours.
We’d pretty much given up on having our own baby so decided to start adoption proceedings. long story short, it was hard. Not the children have issues part, the filling in forms (60 page document), getting medicals, finding obscure paperwork from my two minute trip to India. We also hadn’t really had a chance to settle into our house, jobs, brand new lives. So we struggled and last year, we decided to pause the adoption process, for now. It wasn’t an easy decision. Nothing has been easy, I skim over it because it’s easier to be flippant than to face the reality. We may be childless.
On top of all of this I have had to deal with side effects of the condition that makes me infertile. PCOS, it’s a lovely little condition that has a major effect on all parts of my body, google it it’s a cracker.
I can/have/do live with the physical effects but the mental aspects have been tougher. It causes anxiety and depression, this has been new to me. Not helped by the people who have said but you are always laughing and happy. You are the life and soul of the party. This is true but it doesn’t help me, it makes me feel worse, like I have to prove that I feel like crap. Most days I fight to get up, go to work and put on the show. Every evening I collapse on the sofa in a mess, unable to move or speak. So hard it is to act normal. To make matters worse, the job I currently is so pressured that even a healthy individual would struggle mentally to cope.
Wow, this has become quite a ramble, I really only wanted to say hi and catch you up, but instead I’ve off loaded, sorry.
Hope you are all well, we’re good, we should try to get together soon if you are in the neighbourhood.
P.S Did I say I think I’m lonely?
What I actually sent;
Hello
I was thinking about you today and thought I’d drop you a quick message to see how you are and to apologise for being a pants friend. I can’t make any excuse for my behaviour although the past couple of years have been a bit of a roller coaster. I’d try to catch you up but I’m afraid if bore you. 😂
